How I Manifested My Dream Birth

When I found out I was having my second child at 43 years of age, I had many mixed emotions. I was excited because we had longed for another child after we had lost a pregnancy over a year prior, but mostly I was scared. I was scared I would lose this one again. I was scared the baby would be genetically abnormal or disabled due to my advanced age. I was scared I wouldn’t make it as a new mom again, being mentally and physically drained. So many mixed feelings flooded my body.

I couldn’t truly admit all my negative feelings to my husband. He was over the moon with excitement. He really wanted a son and this was his chance to get one. Me telling him how fearful I was of something going wrong and how we should be prepared for a long, hard road would deflate his happiness. We had discussed after losing the previous pregnancy, that we would try again, but only until the end of the year. My husband is 8 years younger than me, and he wasn’t physically carrying the baby, so he had it easy. Me, I knew this was it. I had my first at 40. If we lost this one, we were done. I left it up to God as to whether we were meant to have one more. And right at the very end of the year, Boxing Day to be exact, we found out we were expecting.

As my pregnancy moved along, and we past the 12 week hurdle, I began to relax more. I started really thinking about my birth plan, and what I hoped to have happen come the day of my baby’s birth. I had a very long and exhausting experience (2 days of hell) with my first child, and when she was born, she had a poor time breathing. They had to put her in NICU for 7 days immediately following her entrance to the outside world.

I had followed a course called HYPNOBABIES that taught me to use hypnosis as a way to have a natural, unmedicated birth.

I have always wanted a non-medicated birth, and I knew hypnosis was the answer. The course was so fantastic, that I used it for both pregnancies. It works as a prenatal program for both my husband and I, since we were complete newbies to this experience, as well as teaching me the power of the mind, and how I can reduce my discomfort by visualizing anesthesia running through my body. Hypnobabies teaches beyond that, but I have to say, that with the help of the program and having an amazing doula with us (the first pregnancy), I had a birth experience that could have been a lot worse. That birthing story will be for another post.

My vision for this birth was for it to be fast, short and safe.

My doula had moved provinces, so she was no longer available to be with us. My husband and I had decided that since we had done it before, we were going to do it by ourselves. My doula strongly suggested we hire another doula, but since I’m strong-willed and determined when I set my mind to things, I decided to commit 110% to studying the Hypnobabies course again.

Of course my fears would always surface, especially hearing stories of other mamas and all the things that could go wrong.

I decided to not resist anything.

I had created an ideal birth plan, but if I needed medical intervention or pain medication, I was going to accept it. That’s where I think the big difference was between both birth experiences. With my first, I was sticking to my plan no matter what. I had used a midwife, thinking that I had it made for a pleasant birth, but I fought long and hard to stick to my birth plan, which resulted in two days of unnecessary agony. I was lucky that both my daughter and I were ok at the end of it.

This time, I was doing things different. Because I was having a summer baby, the weather was beautiful. The last 4 weeks of my pregnancy, I would go for walks along the running track outside my place, and then I would ground myself on the grass, soaking up the sun, and I visualized how I wanted everything to go. I would talk to my baby, asking it (I didn’t know the sex) to come out safely, but quickly. I had heard women going in, only having 30 minutes of labour. I wanted that. I focused daily, seeing myself birthing in 30 minutes, having a safe birth and feeling amazing and energized later. I studied my Hypno tracks twice a day. For the last week, I did them 3 times. Two days before my estimated due date, I would bounce along the track, chanting “down, down, out”, to prevent being induced. They have a rule here that says if you are 40 years and over, they will induce you at 40 weeks. I sure didn’t want to be artificially induced, but I promised myself to be open and accepting.

The chanting and bouncing didn’t work as I had hoped. I had to be given a cream to soften up the cervix, but I was relieved my doctor didn’t want to give me Pitocin (synthetic oxytocin) yet. He had applied the cream in the morning and said he would like to see me later that evening, but most likely it would be the following morning. On a side note, in the early stages of my pregnancy, I had joked with my doctor (who runs a family practice), that I needed him available for my birth and asked which day and time would work best for him. He laughed saying ideally Thursday evening would be the best. He had applied the cream on a Thursday morning. I told him we had an agreement. I would see him that night. He just laughed.

I was just about to start eating supper, when my pressure waves (contractions) had increased to the point that I needed to use my hypnosis tools to manage them. After timing them for an hour, my instinct told me it was time to go. After a student doctor had checked me (my doctor was with another mama), she said baby was only just beginning to come down, and it could be a while. The nurses told me I had a choice of staying, as they had a bed, or leaving and coming back later. I insisted on staying. Baby was about to come. I just knew it.

What was great about using my hypnosis tools, was that my husband learned along the way. He didn’t use the tracks like I had, but he did have tracks to learn and material to read on what his job was to support me.

The walk from the observation room to our private room, hanging on my husband, breathing Baby down, down, and out, was enough to transition me to stage 3, where I began to feel baby getting ready. I quickly tore off my clothes between pressure waves, trying to get into a lying down position on the bed, as I was more comfortable like that. And sure enough, with a big sucker punch to my gut, my water bursted.

My husband was still unpacking my bag, setting up my essential oil diffuser, hanging my “Shhh, we are using hypnosis” sign on the door, when I screamed for him to tell the nurse baby was coming.

The student doctor had returned to check me, as my doctor was doing a C-section. He admitted that he asked why they didn’t send me home. I was only 1cm. It was going to be hours before I delivered. However when the student doctor had checked me, I was already 8cm.

During transition, I honestly felt in a state of euphoria. My hypnobabies relaxation track was playing out loud. I kept envisioning a happy, healthy baby slipping out of me into my arms. I stayed open to all possibilities, taking out the fear of what could go wrong, and allowing everything just to BE. It made my experience much more pleasant. My only concern, was I wanted MY doctor to be there.

Then I started pushing. I couldn’t help it. The urge was so strong. Pushing made the discomfort soften. I remember saying loudly that I wanted MY doctor, not knowing he was already there, observing me. He called my name softly and touched my leg. I immediately felt a wave of reassurance that I was going to be fine. He checked me to see how far along I was, and immediately got all the labour nurses scrambling to get set up.

I was crowning.

And then my full desire finished manifesting with only 3 minutes of easy, light pushing. My beautiful baby boy was placed in my arms, and my husband high-fived the doctor, pleased that HE had manifested the boy he wanted.

The next morning, my doctor came to check on us. I was very curious how long the whole event lasted. Being in the moment, I had no concept of time. It was quite nice, actually. It felt very quick to me, but in reality, it could have been much longer.

My doctor said the entire active labour part was only about 30 minutes.

I smiled, knowing I made this all happen exactly how I wanted. My doctor was impressed. He knew I was using hypnosis, but had no idea about how I wanted it all to go. I could see a sense of resistance from believing in the whole manifesting thing, but I reminded him that we did have the baby on a Thursday early evening like he wanted. He couldn’t deny that part.

How you can manifest YOUR dream birth

We are surrounded by energy. Everything is made up of energy. Where we focus our energy, is what will transpire.

These tips will help guide you in creating the most beautiful birthing experience you can ever imagine.

1. Be clear and be sure it is what you want.

Do NOT think of what it is you DON’T want. That is what will manifest. That is our ego stepping in to scare us. Imagine yourself holding your beautiful, precious baby in your arms, smiling back at you. That’s all you need to focus on. DO NOT think of what could go wrong or any “What Ifs” that could happen. Just see you and your baby in your arms.

2. Relax.

Honestly, your body knows what to do. Relax and breathe. The pushing will be natural. Listen to your doctor or midwife. If you need to stop the pushing, then do it. Otherwise, let your body do it’s thing. It’s called Mother Directed Pushing. My first birth experience, I listened to my midwife directing my pushing, and it ended up causing a long, hard labour. Luckily my doula stepped in and suggested I add an extra push during my pressure waves, as she could see each wave was longer than the midwife’s timing. It worked nicely in moving the baby out faster.

3. Be present and in the moment.

When you are in the present moment, you are just being. There is nothing closer to God or Source than just letting go of all thoughts and just being present. This was the game changer for me the second time around. I wasn’t concerned of annoying my midwife that I was taking so long. I wasn’t embarrassed that I just shit the bed. I wasn’t thinking about the sashimi I was going to eat right after I finished birthing, was going to taste like Heaven after 10 months of missing out. I calmed my mind and listened. I listened to my body. This caused a euphoric sensation within me. I could feel the head sliding out, the burning in my labia, the body tightening and releasing all on its own. Every second, I was fully aware and present and the 3 minutes of pushing only felt like 1 minute.

4. Be open to all possibilities.

Design your birthing plan. Discuss it with your doctor or midwife. And then let it go. I was so dead set on catching my baby, wiping her down, absolutely no pain-medication and definitely NO cesarian, that my resistance was about to cause all the things I didn’t want to happen! I felt like I had so much pressure the first time to stick to the birth plan, from my doula, my husband, my midwife, and the obstetrician standing on the sideline, ready to slice me open, that my first birth was painful and extremely long. I kept thinking that we are all a team, and we were to stick to the plan! That was my biggest regret the first time around. The second round, I discussed my plan with my doctor, and said “This is how I’d like it to go, but do what you have to do to deliver my baby safely for the both of us.” It felt freeing, and my doctor and I both felt we understood each other.

5. Visualize.

Four weeks before your estimated due date, begin to playout how you would like the big day to transpire. Think of the time of day you want to birth, the place you will do it. What is the room temperature? Who is in the room with you? How long are you there before the baby arrives? What is your birthing position? Think of every detail in how you want the day to play out. Keep it positive and joyous. Meditate at least 5 minutes every day and play this “story” until it feels like it already happened. This will even work if you have a planned C-section. Imagine your positive emotions and your joy when your baby is immediately placed in your arms.

6. Trust.

Let go and trust God has a plan. We are not in control. Our ego tries to take over and we always try to manipulate a situation and take control, but that changes our energy and frequency, and we move out of alignment with God or Source. We need to let Him or the Universe take over and trust everything will happen for our highest good and for the highest good of all others. That was the big difference for me. My ah-ha moment. I needed to trust and let go. My birth experience could not have gone more beautifully.

I hope you find these tips helpful. If you know of any new moms that would find this information useful, I’d love for you to share it. I’d also love to hear your birth story. Did it go how you planned? Do you plan on creating a new birth story someday? Share your thoughts in the comments.